five tips to tame screen time
By Jodi Hogan
Winter brings shorter days, longer nights, and more time indoors. And what do kids naturally reach for? That's right—screens. Kids often gravitate to screens when they're bored, whether it's a tablet, gaming console, TV remote, or phone. And what could be more boring than being stuck inside on a cold, wintery day? Let's discuss their screen time use and how we can help them (and ourselves!) manage it better.
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) has found that on average, children ages 8-12 spend 4-6 hours a day watching or using screens; teens spend up to 9 hours on screens. Nearly half of all children under age 8 have their own tablet and spend an average of 2.25 hours on screens daily.
What does all this screen time do to our children? The Journal of the American Medical Association of Pediatrics published a study that found a link between screen usage by young children and delayed development. That includes delays in communication and problem-solving. Think about it: if we pass off the jobs of talking with our kids, engaging with them in activities and conversations, and teaching them problem-solving skills to a screen or tablet, they won't truly learn or master any of those things. They will become passive observers of the characters on the screen rather than being the active learners they are designed to be.
When it comes to parenting, we are the ones our children look to as the leader in the home. One of the most significant predictors of childhood screen use is the parents' screen use, so we need to demonstrate our ability to engage with what's happening around us and disengage as much as we can from our screens. To truly tame the monster, we must Create Shared Solutions. The sudden pivot away from so much screen time may surprise your kids and put them on the defensive. To create lasting change, we must include them in the solution-making process. In our Parent Coaching, we teach you how to engage with children of all ages to understand the why behind our boundaries and to increase the chances of compliance by having the kids create them with us.
We need tips, strategies, and solutions to tame the screen monster that lurks within us all! Here are the top 5:
1. Set clear time limits. One of the best places to start with screen time is deciding how much time is enough for your child. Your child should be involved in the process. Let them devise a reasonable time for them; then, you can share your thoughts. Together, you can decide on what will work for both of you. Once you agree on the time, stick to it using tools such as a phone's built-in screen time monitor or setting screen-time limits on your child's device. You can also set a simple Time Timer so the child can see how much time they have and how much time is left. When the buzzer sounds, the screens go dark. This collaborative process is a simple and effective way to start implementing the idea of Creating Shared Solutions with your child.
2. Watch what your kids are watching. We can engage with them about what they see when we watch with them. Just commenting on things you notice or asking your child about what is happening in the scene can help them understand what they are seeing and be used to teach concepts after the show ends. You also get the bonus of spending one-on-one time with them. When you start spending this special time with your kids, they will naturally want to connect with you more and fill their emotional buckets, which can decrease screens' pull. It's a win-win.
3. Create Screen-Free Spaces. There should be limits to where screens can and cannot go. It's as simple as keeping all screens on the main floor or keeping them out of the bathrooms and bedrooms. Mealtime should always be a screen-free zone. Having that quality family time is crucial to connecting with your kids and creating a strong, lasting relationship.
4. Encourage Outside Play. Getting outside can be one of the best things for your child—and yourself—to do for overall health, even in the winter! Going for a walk, playing in the snow, jumping on the trampoline, or throwing a ball around in the yard are easy ways to keep kids busy and improve their cardiovascular fitness.
5. Limit screen time before bed. Try to make it a rule that everyone in the house has screen-free time for at least an hour before bedtime. Screen usage before bed impacts sleep and can make it harder to fall asleep.
Taking control of screen time may seem daunting, but small changes can make significant impacts. Be realistic in your goals—you don't need to drop all screens cold turkey! Cutting screen time usage in half would be a huge win, and any small change should be acknowledged and celebrated. If you continue to struggle and need extra support, we are here to help with that and other tough transitions. It all starts with one small step. But if you keep stepping, imagine how much happier and healthier you can be without the screen monster in your home in 2025!
